bump #6: test results

You would think that after a year and a half of TTC (trying to conceive) that waiting a week or 2 for blood test results would seem like nothing. Lemme tell ya, it feels like an eternity!

I have been so worried that there are major complications with regard to my thyroid or blood sugar levels or antibodies. So when I listened to the voice mail from the nurse this afternoon and she said everything from the "new fertility panel" (blood tests) came back normal, I was both relieved and flustered.  Relieved that there are no obvious problems, but flustered that we still don't know what's going on.

These thoughts continue swirling in my head: 
"Could it be (insert random disease)" 
"Maybe they should check to be sure I don't have (insert odd condition)" 
"I read something about (some incredibly rare occurrence) in a book and I think that might be the problem."

To have it still be unexplained after all of these tests and procedures is really stressing me out. Ironically, maybe it is that stress that is the problem!

There was one little tidbit of information gained from the bloodwork... apparently I am "rubella equivocal." Yeah, I wasn't quite sure what that meant either because I know I have had MMR (measles mumps rubella) shots. {Another pleasantry of the public school system.}  To be rubella equivocal means that I may or may not be immune to rubella or German measles.

From the gist of the voice mail, it sounds like I can either get the immunization (that I know I have already had) and wait 30 more days to pursue any course of action.


I can simply sign a waiver stating that I will not be receiving the immunization (because I already did) and continue with our plan of IUI. I am leaning more towards this option at this point in time.
Just for the record, I do know how dangerous rubella can be during pregnancy, and am not trying to downplay it at all. However, I also know that I received the rubella vaccine and that these tests they took are somewhat vague. {Like what exactly does "normal" mean?} To be rubella equivocal simply means it was inconclusive, so I may or may not be immuned. It's in the gray area.

I'm tired of living in the gray area.

Whether I have the rubella immunity or not does not really have any effect on my ability to get pregnant, so we are still back at square one... Unexplained infertility.

I suppose leaving it as "unexplained" just further proves that life really is a miracle.

God, if you're listening, I'm ready for my miracle now!


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