Wednesday, May 8, 2013

bump #53: another mother's day

And now for the obligatory infertile reflection on Mother’s Day…

I’m over it.

To be clear, I’m not over celebrating mothers. They deserve to be celebrated everyday!
What I am over are the constant reminders that I’m not a mother. Still.

But rather than whine about what a travesty that is, and it is, we are going to skip town for a couple days and go to the beach. It would be better if I actually got to spend Mother’s Day with my mom, but South Padre will have to do.

So this Mother’s Day will be spent in the sunshine with my loves {Andrew and Maddie}.
And even if I was a mom, I think that’s exactly how I’d want to spend Mother's Day.
Pics here
On a related note, please check out my friend Erika's post with a letter to new moms. 
(You can vote for her too!)
I love how she puts into words exactly what I'm feeling.
I should probably just link to her blog every time I post and save myself the energy :)

Monday, May 6, 2013

bump #52: i can breathe

I'm embarrassed to admit it, but I was so nervous about "coming out" as an infertile a couple weeks ago. I kept asking Andrew if it was too uncomfortable a topic to make public, half hoping he would say it was so I could continue to avoid it entirely. Alas, he didn't. We decided it was more important to share our struggle and be honest with our friends and family as well as encourage others who may be facing something similar.

And I am so glad we did!

I feel like I can breathe again.

For the last year during every treatment and stressful cycle I felt like I was holding my breath. Suffocating, really. And that kind of routine is not sustainable. Eventually you pass out or explode.

I exploded... all over this blog and all over Facebook: "We want a baby and we can't have one". And BOOM goes the dynamite.

But instead of being overwhelmed by my sudden {albeit self-imposed} loss of privacy, I was overwhelmed with reassuring and encouraging words from the people who mean the most to me. I thought sharing this burden with y'all 8 more weeks as a Texan, gotta work those "y'all's" in wherever I can :) would knock the wind out of me, but instead you have been a breath of fresh air to my worn down soul.

I never understood the following verse as completely as I do now:

"Share each other's burdens, and in this way obey the law of Christ."
Galatians 6:2
Thank you for sharing this burden with me because Lord knows I can't handle it on my own!
I hope you know how very, very much I love y'all!