Thursday, July 5, 2012

bump #22: hysteroscopy

Two times in my life I've been put under with anesthesia. Once when I was 17 and getting my wisdom teeth pulled and once this morning prior to undergoing a hysteroscopic polypectomy (outpatient surgery to remove uterine polyps). Suffice it to say I am currently extremely groggy and, thankfully, adequately drugged.

I am just so glad it's over!

These are the only pictures I took:


The actual surgery only took about 30 minutes, but we left our house at 9 this morning and did not get home until after 4. We had to go to our doctor's office first to sign papers and pay fees and then we had to go to the hospital where the procedure was performed and get prepped, sign more documents, and pay more fees. Ugh. It is what it is. At least our mission was accomplished!  I am happy to report that big fat polyp is gone and so are a couple little baby polyps that were trying to form.  Bet they didn't see this coming!

For about a millisecond I considered posting a couple pre and post procedure shots (obviously I did not take any photos during) but a couple days before my appointment I did some research that convinced me that "Hysteroscopy: the facebook album" might not be as widely appreciated as one might think. (surprise, surprise).  The research I conducted was not exactly textbook.

Ok, it was Youtube research.  Desperate times call for desperate measures.

I've seen a lot of grotey-gro-gross stuff but the videos on the internet pertaining to this minor little procedure were something straight out of a horror film. Something to the effect of "When vaginas attack get attacked." TMI doesn't begin to describe it.

Needless to say I did not actually manage to sit through any one whole video in it's entirety.
But there were a couple honorable mentions I'll leave you with in my drug-addled state:

This video started off great, with a little pun about being in the land down under. I appreciated the humor until about 20 seconds in when the fun 80's music stopped and talk of "di-luh-tation of the cervical caw-vity" commenced.  Yeah, you lost me there Aussie.

And I'm sure that This video was particularly informative, but I was too distracted by the narrator lady saying uterus every 5 seconds (seriously 26 times in 3 minutes, I counted).

I'm going to be honest with you, there are many better ways to spend your Thursday afternoon.

Like cleaning sink drains or bleaching toilets.
Getting a colonoscopy or... wait that just might be worse than what I had to endure today.
Thank God for butt procedures, the only thing worse than lady part procedures.

This bumpy, infertility plagued road has taught me time and time again the value of perspective.

It could always be worse

One of the books I've been reading says "don't worry, none of the procedures you have to go through for infertility treatment even compare to the pain of childbirth." Really, you don't say?!

Somehow that doesn't offer me much solace!

4 comments:

  1. I've never had any butt procedures but good to know that there's something worse out here! Glad that the procedure went well- hope you get plenty of rest!!

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  2. You are ENTIRELY too chipper for the circumstances!!! OK those 'sign your life away' forms are SERIOUS!! Yikes. I probably would have cried 80 times trying to sign them. Glad that the surgery went okay...hoping your recovery isn't too terrible and that you continue having such a great sense of humor!!!

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  3. I enjoyed your post...it was funny and encouraging. I'm impressed that you were feeling good enough to blog on the same day. I'm going through this tomorrow. Ugh! I have to say that I can think of a whole lot of other things I'd rather do too! Can't wait for it to be over! I've done a lot of online research too but never thought about trying YouTube...I think I'll pass on those horror films!

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  4. The office hysteroscope has a light and camera hooked to it so your physician can see the lining (endometrium) on a video screen.The camera transmits a signal to a receiver so the physician can see the inside of the uterus on a video screen.

    Video Colposcope | Fetal Monitor | Office Hysteroscopy

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