Monday, April 22, 2013

bump #51: Infertility Awareness Week

Not sure what they mean by "Join the movement"
as this is not a club you really want to be a member of :)
"Unexplained Infertility"
After years spent trying to have a baby, this is our diagnosis.
Such an empty explanation.
Such an empty feeling in my stomach.
This week is Infertility Awareness Week... I feel like I'm aware of it every week, but it's nice to have it acknowledged and addressed because it is typically a hush hush topic.
I've kept it a hush hush topic.
Mostly because it's uncomfortable to talk about and, for us, for now, it's still unresolved.
But lately I've felt the Holy Spirit pulling at my heart strings to share this.  I didn't really want to. I mean, I only like to talk about things that are happy and fun {infertility is neither}. But today I'm coming from a place of honesty and I now realize how silly it is to simultaneously want people to know a bit about our struggle with infertility, but be too much of a scaredy cat to share it's impact in my life. I don't want to talk about how weak I am, how afraid I am that I'll never have children. It's embarrassing and something I keep private. But in sharing our struggles, there is humility. And I think I'm finally at that place. For the record, it's not an easy place to be. Even writing this now is painful because it makes it more real. But I suppose it's time to get real.
For the past three years, Andrew and I have tried and tried and tried to have a baby. {Recap here} They say you are categorized as "infertile" after 12 months or 1 year of unsuccessful baby making attempts. So does that make us triple infertile? Oy!
The reason I'm sharing this now {besides it being the designated week} is because I know we're not alone in this struggle and I want to encourage others who are facing a similar plight. I also want to thank all of you who (whether you knew about this or not) have been so kind and supportive. We are so, so grateful for our amazing family and friends who have surrounded us with encouragement, love, and prayers as we have travelled this very bumpy road of infertility {hence the name of the blog}.
I hope and pray that infertility is not something you ever have to experience. This has doubtlessly been the most difficult season in our lives.
There is not one single good thing I can say about infertility.
But there are many good things I can say about my God who is bringing us through this trial.  We stumble over the bumps and our hearts ache, but His promises hold true.
He loves us.
He will never leave us.
He will be glorified, even in this circumstance.
So this week, no matter what you're struggling with or what your circumstances are, listen to His heart for you...
He loves you.
He will never leave you.
He will be glorified, even in this.



11 comments:

  1. So good, Bren. So beautifully said. Did you post a link to this somewhere so that *outsiders* will read it??! So scary! :) Love you girl. Thankful for the friendships I've found through infertility. (Unrelated story: Thought of you times a million this weekend when I inherited a Coach purse under extremely hilarious circumstances. I thought you'd be proud of me.)

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  2. Hoping and praying that you will feel encouraged and loved through an outpouring of support this week!

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  3. thoughts and prayers to you both, asking god to give you all the strength and knowledge to help you and the doctors to get things figured out. love ya

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  4. Thank you for thinking of others and sharing your heart with us and those needing encouragement and insiration!
    Yes, our living God is faithful and His timing perfect and we place
    our trust in Him even when things are hard to understand.

    Love and prayers,

    Grandma Charlene

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  5. You are an incredible writer, you have a gift...thank you for sharing, for being YOU, and for holding onto God's promise, I am sending you good juju right now and will have you on my radar in prayer..Besos Bonita!!

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  6. "Join the movrement" is directed towards lazy sperm, obviously! Jokes aside, I always appreciate that you see your circumstances in light of God's promises and not the other way around. Thankful for your "coming out" and the way it will encourage others you don't even know about!

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  7. Great post - thank you for sharing! And thank you for the reminder that He is always there, especially when our hearts are broken from our infertility. xoxo

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  8. Thank you for sharing. You will be used through this!

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  10. Love and prayers from Uncle Joseph and Aunt Linda

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  11. Thank you so much for sharing. I can SO related to every.single.word!

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