bump #1: timing

After 5 years of marriage, I can sum up in 8 words exactly what every conversation undoubtedly turns to:
"When are you going to have a baby?"

Such a sweet, innocent, (just a lil bit nosey) question. In all honesty I loved this question, heck I even asked this question to all my friends, and it never ever bothered me because we knew we would have children sometime "soonish." It never bothered me until recently when we discovered that we don't exactly have a say in the matter.

Let me catch you up...

We always wanted children. We've been talking about it since highschool. (Don't read too much into that, we only ever talked about it, we never acted on it :)  Hubbs wants 2 kids and I want 4, we have names picked out and bla bla bla.  Always the planner, I drew out a timeline:  graduate college at 22 [check] get married at 23 [check] bonus: we got married 07-07-07 it was perfect!  Live it up in San Diego [check] and so on. 

We both wanted to be married for a couple years before having kids so we could look back fondly and say "remember when we went to Hawaii /New York / Vegas before we had kids, those were the days!"  Silver lining: we've gotten to go on A LOT of vacations sans kiddos. I digress.

On our third anniversary we decided it was finally time to start our family. I had no delusions of grandeur, I know these things take time. So we "sort of" tried. I say sort of because we took the que sera approach, you know whatever will be will be. And a year went by. Nothing.

No big deal, life went on and we thought nothing of it.  We figured "well,the time just isn't right." So we prayed about it and waited a while.

A good friend recommended the book Taking Charge of Your Fertility, so I read it and realized we needed to step up our game if we were serious about baby making. So we did.

After 1 (unsuccessful) year of trying to get pregnant {taking my basal body temperature to track ovulation- perfectly predictable, reading every. single. pre-pregnancy book- um, yeah I already knew all of that, and making sure everything on hubby's end was in working order- it is} we reluctantly made an appointment for a consultation at the fertility clinic.  
I must confess, this was an absolute last resort as I loathe going to the doctor for any reason, especially pertaining to this super private matter.
Well, I had to get over that real fast... enter mega invasive lala procedures (i always called it a lala, I  guess I think it sounds prettier than alternate terms.) 

At the consultation (last Friday) the doctor performed an ultrasound giving a fairly detailed look at my uterus - too bad there isn't a cuter word for uterus... perhaps "cute-erus?" -Anyway, Everything looked great; I'll spare you the details about follicles and ovaries mostly because I don't really know the difference, all I can say is they're there and that's what matters. Everything looked great... until we got to the left ovary, which was a little out of place and had only half as many follicles as the right one. No good. The doctor also mentioned something about a possible unicorn uterus (medical term unicornuate - google it) Seriously?! Who comes up with this stuff?

This is most likely a worst case scenario and it's probably not that bad. Even if my uterus is somehow malformed, getting pregnant is not impossible. I'm trying to stay positive until I know exactly what the problem is. And then I plan on consuming mass quantities of ice cream and/or chocolate until I feel better.

*I have, however, learned what pray without ceasing means, to say the least. "God, please please don't let it be that unicorn whatever!" Never thought I'd say that in a sentence :)

And with that overly thorough synopsis, you are sufficiently caught up.

Tomorrow I am going in for a follow up appointment to perform an xray (hysterosalpingography) HSG on my reproductive system that will hopefully rule out any potential pregnancy problems and reveal a fantastic looking uterus without anything resembling a unicorn. All of this medical stuff is so incredibly foreign to me! (x rays and ultrasounds and mythical horned creatures, oh my!)

I'm thinking I'd much prefer a "my little pony" fallopian tube than a "unicorn" uterus.

Sometimes trying to get pregnant for so long makes you unbelievably sad, but
Sometimes you just have to laugh about it.  A unicorn, really?!