bump #2: HSG

First things first, there is NO UNICORN *unicornuate* in my uterus. Hooray!!!

I managed to snap this picture during the xray today and the doctors said everything looks good... no blocked fallopian tubes and nothing of concern. Phew! (all the black stuff is the iodine (dye) they inserted so they could make sure the tubes look right) I don't have the slightest idea what anything else is, but hopefully at my next doctors appointment they'll explain it to me.

Infertility (ugh I hate that word) is not something I ever thought would be part of my vernacular. My family background is anything but infertile (not quite Duggar's status, but close) and there were never any signs that would indicate that getting pregnant would be difficult for me. That sounds smug, what I mean to say is that I wish someone would have told me years ago that 1 in 10 couples will struggle to get pregnant, so I would have been better prepared for the last year and a half of disappointment. I guess that's why I'm blogging about it here.

The only thing worse than infertility would have to be unexplained infertility. I am a problem solver and I need some explanations here!  If the first bump along the way was realizing that we (let me clarify: ME, lucky hubbs is in the clear) may in fact be infertile. The second bump is determining what the specific problem is.

This leads us to
Bump # 2: the hysterosalpingogram (HSG)  read about it here (the current step in our fertility journey)

I mentioned this beast of an x-ray yesterday, (and praise God!) I survived it this afternoon.
I hope that no one ever has to go through one of those procedures and would describe it as an annual exam times 50.  Not to say that I didn't handle it like a pro... the doctors were very impressed with my pain tolerance and said most women cry when they:

1. wedge in the "speculum" (something resembling salad tongs) to open the cervix
2. put in the balloon thing (definitely the most painful part) that they inflate to hold everything open so
    they can take pictures of the cute-erus (it does sound better than uterus), and
3. insert the catheter (to inject the iodine)

I'd say it was tear worthy, but crying, - NOT THIS GIRL! 

Although I have a confession to make:

I rarely take medicine, but after my doctor did that ultrasound on Friday and described my cervix as "Fort Knox" (i.e. super tight and closed up) he recommended that I take a valium to calm me down a bit for this procedure. Duly noted, Doc.

I also took a big fat naproxen for the cramps (although in all honesty, they were no worse than minor menstrual cramps.)

And I'm on antibiotics (doxycyclene) to prevent any infections from such an invasive procedure.

I'll keep y'all informed once I know the official results of the xray and figure out the next step.
I'm just so glad that that's over with!!!

Now for the humorous part of the day:

Hubbs is out of town this week, but it was the only time I could go in for this appointment and apparently with fertility stuff there are certain times of the month that you have to do things and today was the day. So I went all by my lonesome.

And I had to take a valium.

I'm admittedly not a great driver. Add the equivalent of a six pack mike's hard lemonade to the mix and we'd have a disaster on our hands.

Solution: I left an hour early for my appointment and took the valium when I arrived at the doctor's office.

The whole procedure only took about 30 minutes, so when I stood up to leave and was falling all over the place a little wobbly, I decided it would be best if I didn't make the 25 minute drive home right away.

Solution: I drove across the street, shopped a bit, and apparently had a really nice nap in the car afterwards...

I woke up to discover I had bought 8 boxes of hair dye and a planner with only two things written in it for today: Doctor's Appointment and Dye my hair

I flipped through the US Weekly that has been in my passenger seat for over a week and figured if I was disgruntled and worked up enough about that skanky snooki getting knocked up while I still couldn't, that I had enough coherency to make the drive home. And I did.

If I'm learning anything through this experience, it is definitely to maintain a sense of humor about everything.  I am not prone to depression, but could see how easily one might become discouraged through all of this and sink into a deep pit of self pity and sadness. I choose to see it as a journey that has its ups and downs, but ends with a baby in my belly. I don't want to think about the alternative at this point.

And the alternative to brens baby bump is brens big booty bump and that in itself is depressing.

Guess I'm off to dye my hair now :)