Thursday, June 5, 2014

bump #61: IVF + and -

One month until IVF retrieval and transfer!
2 weeks until all those dreaded daily injections.
6 weeks until we know if it worked.
Cue the time machine!
I have never felt so close or so far from my dream of being a mom.  I've also been in this really weird head space where everything feels like life or death. I think it's because it will either work or it won't; positive or negative, 50/50. I'm super on edge and hyper sensitive. I've been on birth control pills for 5 weeks so there may be some hormonal correlation :) This is it! This is our greatest chance at finally starting our family, but it isn't the way I wanted it to happen at all. Obviously I am beyond grateful for technology and that this is even an option for us, but I'm also mourning the loss of a "natural" pregnancy. Even if this protocol works, it hasn't solved the problem. It has just created a loophole the size of a petri dish. Are jokes about petri dishes offensive to IVFers? Oh well, I'm one of them now. 
Maybe infertility isn't a problem to solve and I need to just get over it, but it's still frustrating!
Amidst the frustration, I've created a mental list of pros and cons of IVF. Most of the cons are fleeting (a big 'ol pile of debt, anesthesia, extra discomfort from meds, potential complications, a million doctors appointments). But really, that's nothing. The pros win out every time because the pros are forever. 

4 comments:

  1. Ah so excited for you! And obviously I can very much relate to the roller coaster of emotions you're currently experiencing. I will definitely be praying, and I'm sure you have plenty of resources, but I'm happy to help answer any questions if I can!

    Also, petri dishes are definitely not offensive- I have been known to make those jokes at my own expense!

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  2. Oh Bren, I'm so excited for you! I REALLY understand the emotions, and the fear, and the frustrations, I really, really do. I remember feeling all of that as we approached our IVF cycle. But I'm just so glad you're taking this chance and I'm hoping you are one of the lucky ones, my friend! I know it's highly obnoxious to hear "don't worry about the shots", but really, don't stress. I worked myself up SOOOO much over them, but it wasn't that bad. You're going to be GREAT!!! Let the countdown begin!

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  3. If someone can't laugh at a Petri Dish Sized Loophole, they should just go home. We don't have time for that. But I am SO excited for you, friend!!

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  4. You are so right - the possible Pro of IVF is SO worth it. I'm praying for you and am hoping for the best news in the days to come! XOXO

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