A big word to describe a little of how I feel.
So much of life lately feels compartmentalized. Like I can just tuck tidbits away and only share what I want to with who I want to. It's rather deceptive, making it seem like I have a handle on things. I'm pretty sure I don't have a split personality or schizophrenia, I'm just a selective sharer. Not that I'm not a blabbermouth who over-shares all the time, but it seems like I've had a lot to process in the last few months and rather than lay it all out on the table, I've put it into little compartments to deal with later.
It's later.
And I still don't want to deal with it.
Just so we're on the same page, my "it" is the unattainable baby bump and the weight of equal parts worry and sadness that keep seeping out even though I've crammed them way in the back of the "dangit, I'm still not pregnant" dresser drawer. note to self: I need a better storage solution!
For others it is something else entirely, and of even greater importance than my inability to conceive.
Just so we're still on the same page, my whole life isn't about infertility, only this blog is :)
But whatever it is, hiding it away until a better, later time to deal with it is not the solution.
That is no more effective than putting a leash on a grizzly bear and anticipating a leisurely stroll.
*going to Alaska in a couple weeks, so I've got grizzlies on the brain!*
Symphony bars and spirits might be a suitable replacement (which coincidentally leads me to my vote of If you aren't offering chocolate or margaritas, then shut the hell up as a great title for Erika and Amanda's next book)
Ha, love the new coping mechanism- goes great with the book title! Sometimes I wish I was better at compartmentalizing because my issues (namely infertility) seem to seep out into everything I do, say, think, eat, feel, etc. So I admire that about you!
ReplyDeleteOooh...Symphony bars. It's been way too long since I've had one of those; thanks for reminding me they exist!! I think that there are some advantages to compartmentalizing...like maybe you can function better in everyday life. I feel like I go through spells of compartmentalizing and then NOT (whatever the opposite would be...whatever Amanda is hahaha).
ReplyDeleteI can't wait for your Alaska trip. Although I feel like there aren't a lot of cocktails to be had there. Probably just like... I dunno, shots of whiskey in the igloo? Vodka? What do really cold people drink? Hot chocolate?