bump #32: relaxing didn't work

No surprise there.

Turns out infertility thrives on inaction or "relaxing" so there will be NO MORE OF THAT!

For this next cycle, it's back to medical intervention.

 IUI #2 (intrauterine insemination)

or the turkey baster method. Thanksgiving is right around the corner, so it's fitting!

The good news is that we have done this before so we know what to expect.

The bad news is that we have done this before and it didn't work.

Hopefully the hysteroscopy in July removed that obstacle.



Our doctor recommended undergoing 3 IUI's before moving on to higher level infertility treatments. There is nothing magical about the number 3, he just said that usually if nothing has happened by that point, it is in our best interest to pursue a different course of action. Which could be another surgery: laparoscopy to diagnose/remove endometriosis or another hysteroscopy if more polyps are present. The earliest he has seen polyps return after being surgically removed is 10 months. But leave it to my state of the art uterus to set a new record on that... please do not accept that as a challenge, uterus.

Here's hoping that IUI #1 was first the worst and IUI #2 will be second, the best!

bump #30: no news is good news

There is no new news to report here.
But I am inclined to disagree with the saying that "no news is good news."

Nope. That's just another moronic mantra that does not apply to infertility. Same as "a stitch in time saves nine" and "a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush." Stitches suck and who wants a bird at all? I want a baby!

So, no news is not good news and it makes for a very boring bump on the {b}log.

But that's where we're at. This boring spot where TTC is a real nuisance and we're getting nowhere. But, regardless, I've been diligently tracking my temperature the last few weeks, tinkling on OPK's, (Pretty much everything short of the cervical mucus analysis because that just really freaks me out!), cutting out caffeine and my beloved pina coladas, replacing them with prenatal vitamins that make me gag and healthy smoothies. Blagh. And after all of that, I'm pretty sure I didn't even ovulate last month. So it was all for naught.

It's like my reproductive system is going on strike.
I guess I don't blame it.

And in the midst of all of this stress, everyone {ok just my mom really, oh and Frankie from Frankie Goes to Hollywood} keeps telling me to relax. And I'm sure there's some truth to that. Not like do yoga, breath deeply, meditate, and BAM! - Pregnant! But like quit hating on my uterus (that insists on housing polyps instead of persons) and stop dwelling on the worst case scenarios (like being forced to live on the street after fertility treatments bankrupt us.) Yes, that is in fact a dark place in my mind that pops up every once in a while and I have no comment as to whether or not I have been saving all my cardboard boxes for, you know, just in case!

Being told to relax isn't my favorite thing.
Relaxing feels impossible.

But what the heck, I'll go ahead and give it a try. A relaxed attitude is not a defeatist one. This is not me throwing in the towel. I suppose this is me "going to the beach and laying out on the towel." I choose to look at relaxing as regrouping, recharging, and really re-examining our route.

So September will be the month where I chillax a bit.

{Yeah, right!}