bump #11: mother's day

Today is Mother's Day.
It is bitter sweet.

I remember last year on this date, clinging to the hope that it would be the last Mother's Day I would have to spend as "not a mom." 

I remember people at church passing out long stemmed roses to all the mothers and having to pass them by. 

I remember taking a pregnancy test that very Sunday because I was a couple days late. And thinking that would be the sweetest day to find out I was having a baby.  But it was negative. Again.


Mother's Day makes me a little bit sad.
Is that terrible? Should I not even be saying that?

It feels like a club that I can't be a part of. Like I'm not good enough to get in.
It's a reminder of what I don't have. What I can't have.

Wagh.

Pity party of one are the words that keep running through my head.
I need to snap out of it


Not being a mom is not the worst thing in the world.
Not having a mom would be infinitely worse.


I love my moms (mine and andrew's) and when I think about Mother's Day as being about them {instead of about my big empty belly, house, bank account, etc} it changes my perspective.

It changes my heart.

So this Mother's Day I am going to be grateful for the amazing women in my life,
moms and non-moms alike.

I am also going to snuggle up with my puppy and eat donuts to my heart's content!

Comments

  1. Hey-- it's not a pity party of 1...there are at LEAST 3 or 4 of us out there! And it looks like you have more than enough donuts for all of us...a good selection, too! If there's anything infertility teaches us, it is how to pick our calories and sugar with great care!

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