bump #8: femara

I think we can all agree there are many better ways to start your weekend than an early morning ultrasound surveying a super empty uterus. *sarcasm*

But whatever.  It is what it is.

This sonogram was the same exam we had back in March at our consultation visit. And no, it was not any more comfortable or less awkward than last time.

I pretty much dread going to FCSA. It is all the way across town, through 3 major freeways of traffic.  I always make Andrew drive because I refuse to learn still don't know my way around this crazy city. The stress of the 40 minute car ride there is enough to make me want to quit this whole inconvenient infertility journey. {Not really, but it sure makes me cranky.}  Somehow sitting in traffic all morning is not conducive to happy thoughts. Who knew?!


Eventually we made it to the doctor's office where I took a proverbial chill pill and we established a course of action for the month, which we will heretofore refer to as baby-making may. But before that,

There were a couple things I had to come to terms with today.

1) My body is not going to naturally get pregnant on its own. For whatever reason, that hasn't happened in the last 2 years that we've been trying and it probably won't happen without some form of medical assistance.

2)  When it becomes apparent that your only option for pregnancy is going to be medically induced, you can greatly increase your chances of success with ovulation inducing hormones.

Ok. 


That brings us to the purpose of today's visit:  to see how many follicles my body is producing on its own to determine if the medication they prescribed me will increase that number, thus increasing our chance of pregnancy.

I am not a fan of medication and that is putting it lightly. I can count on one hand the number of times I have taken antibiotics or other types of prescribed medicine (including last month's valium and doxycyclene).  I know it has it's purpose, but when it comes down to it, I am quite skeptical of the pharmaceutical industry in general and distrusting of most doctors. (Call it a Kohler gene.)

So when the fertility specialist told me that I would need to take femara, I immediately researched the heck out of it. 

I was not pleased with the results of my inquiry.

Let's just say it is NOT FDA approved for infertility treatment and has been associated with miscarriage and birth defects if taken during pregnancy. (It is actually prescribed for people with early stages of breast cancer, but has some benefits when used as an ovulation inducing hormone.)  It should come as no surprise that I freaked out a little bit a lot and am still unsettled about taking it. Why would I put any more risk on my poor reproductive system? Isn't there a better option than this?

Eventually I was talked down from the ledge, so to speak, and led to believe that the chances of miscarriage or birth defects are the same for everyone regardless of their use of femara or clomid or any other drug.  "Right, whatever!" I'm thinking to myself. There is no way that I would ever opt to take pills that could potentially harm my unborn baby or myself. Who does that?

People who want what they can't have do that.
I might have to do that.
Bear with me...

We are in a "unique" situation. And by unique, I mean sucky.
I mean we don't have a lot of options here.

I never imagined in a million years that I would have to

take hormone pills and injections to produce eggs 

 track my temperature three times a day

 pee on litmus strips to see if I'm ovulating

 get ultrasounds to see if I even have follicles

so I can take medicine that has detrimental risks

all the while paying thousands of dollars 

to become a mother.

That it wouldn't just happen at the right time all on its own is heart breaking.  

This is something I am going to have to come to terms with each and everyday.   

I don't have the privilege of just getting knocked up the old fashioned way.
So yes, I am going to take the medicine. And I am going to pray about it. I am going to pray that it does exactly what it is supposed to and nothing more. I am going to continue to pray for a miracle natural pregnancy, but remain cautiously optimistic as we continue on with our plan of IUI.



Today my doctor gave me a super low dose prescription of femara.  2.5 mg to be exact. 
{This is important because the lower the dose, the lower the likelihood of yours truly becoming the next octo-mom.} That is to say, compared with other fertility drugs, femara has a much lower chance of resulting in multiple births. Both the doctors, hubbs, and my uterus agreed that one baby at a time is preferable.

Although now that I think about it, twins wouldn't be that bad. Especially if we got a boy and girl. Then I could be all done in 1 shot!

Somehow I don't think it is that easy.