bump #9: the bitter bandwagon

I don't sugarcoat things. It's not my style.  My father-in-law has this saying, "it's like polishing a turd."  Infertility is a big fat turd crapping all over my life.

Okay, maybe that's a little extreme, but lately I have been having quite the pity party. 

I blame the hormones.
And facebook.

{Nowhere on the label does it say that one of the dominant side effects of femara is becoming a hater.} So I will say it here.  Those 'hater hormones' have been rearing their ugly head and putting this bren (sans baby bump) on the bitter bandwagon.

The worst is when I log onto facebook. I love FB, it used to be my happy place... all :) and LOL's.
Now it totally bums me out... all :( and FML.

Warning: I'm about to become a tiny bit  lot bit of a b-word. Please try to be understanding of the place I'm coming from, the bummed out, baby-less, bitter place. And please don't hate on this hater.

It's just that every. single. time. I turn on the computer I am bombarded with all these adorable little  - (no, that would be sugarcoating it) big obnoxious pictures of brand new babies and birth announcements and sonograms, which by the way are really wonky looking and should NOT be your profile pic. (sticks tongue out and makes gag noise)  I will of course recant that statement once I have my own mis-shapen blob of a pic of my ultrasound to plaster all over the internet. But for now, I am going to bash on them.

Wow, that felt pretty good. Can I vent just a little bit more?

Not to sound like a toddler, but it's really not fair. These newly-pregos are all newlyweds who just got married like a minute ago.  I have put years. Yes YEARS into this endeavor. Meanwhile they're nonchalantly popping out kids #2 and #3 while I'm still trying to figure out if I'm even ovulating each month. Not fair!

So while I'm still waiting and wishing for a baby I can't help it if I'm also wishing for a few extra stretchmarks and unsightly cankles for all of those perfectly prego people. JUST KIDDING!
(I of course hope that their babies are healthy and happy and all that.)

That's all for now from the brutally honest and {incredibly} bitter band wagon.


  1. HAHAHA I totally feel you, girl. I hate those stupid sonogram pictures. I want to put up some of my own ultrasound pics, that show ruptured cysts and what not...people will be all "OH WOW, CONGRATS!!!" and then I'll just be like "uhh...that's an empty womb there, Cap'n." and then they'll feel like crap and I will laugh at them. but SERIOUSLY. I am going to invent an alternate Facebook for infertile girls. Ugh.

  2. I think we've all been there Bren. Facebook (I mean Babybook) + Hormones = 1 crazy BEEP! And you're so right, it is absolutely not fair. As I lay here restless, with waves of hot flashes, worrying about cysts and cancelled IUI's, 90 cajillion of my friends are finding out the sex, posting indeterminate ultrasounds, and sending out baby announcements... on their SECOND kid! What? Praying with you as you wait with hope!


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